I haven’t had time to reflect lately or properly for that matter on the things/situations in my life. I reached back out because I am a masochist, clearly. It hurts so much to talk but damn are my words beautiful when I’m in pain. People say they feel my words better that way. I guess that’s why I stopped listening to Mary J. And Keyshia Cole. Ain’t no hurt to relate to and lately I feel that’s all my life is becoming, major heartache. We all have a muse. Mine has seem to come in the form of broken men and distorted perceptions of women. I look at pictures of your face and I see everything that could never be. But it fuels my fire and for some reason when I am done writing I find myself further and further away from you. Clearly this makes no sense to you because I mean, you’re but a man and I am a complicated woman. My prayers consist more gratitude than of questions. I’m learning that sometimes people need to be let go and although it’s becoming easier for me to do such it still leaves my heart cold. Conversations are not supposed to hurt so I keep it light and discuss Beyonce’s new album and send funny pictures. I slip every now and then and my heart escapes my permission to speak and I tell you how much I miss you but you chose to ignore. I can’t decide what hurts more the rejection or acknowledging the fact you no longer feel the same. My heart doesn’t break lucky for me. No instead it just feels weightless and lifeless, exactly how I felt last night when I decided to relax in a bubble bath while drinking countless glasses of pink moscato. I haven’t reflected lately or properly because to reflect is to think and to think is to realize and to realize means sooner or later I’m gonna have to accept. I’ve never been too good with changes…
Appreciation in the most sincere form is beautiful.
Too much trust I put in people.
Because I believe in people.
The good in people radiate, have you ever noticed?
In a world full of cruelty and sadness, have you ever noticed the ability that some people possess to still be able to smile and bring joy to others?
We can’t always focus on the negativity in the world.
This world was never ours to begin with.
The closer I get to reconnecting with my faith, the happier I’m becoming.
It’s the most fulfilling feeling I have ever experienced.
I radiate and my spirit can be felt.
I can’t and will not apologize for believing in people the way I do.
I remember praying and asking the most high to allow me to see the good in people.
I remember praying for a change in my spirit.
And soon as I opened my heart and my mind, this world, this life became clearer to me.
It’s hard to get here, I understand, but I pray one day that you’ll too get to experience this unconditional love I have.
This appreciation for those who still manage to keep smiles on others faces a midst the world’s tragedies.
I still believe in people.
Sometimes we live our lives in a retrospective way. Allowing the past to hold more than the future. Minimizing opportunities for self growth all the while destroying any space available for optimism.
Destructive in every sense. The past is to learn from not hinder thyself or ridicule anyone.
Make the conscious decision to take another persons’ feelings into consideration.
Take a moment for yourself to reflect and understand some things are beyond your comprehension but momentary setbacks are just that, setbacks.
Waiting to exhale wasn’t just about a bunch of women and their men problems. Waiting to exhale is finally finding the strength to breathe again. Through the coldest winters and into the hottest summers, honey you are a woman.
Don’t forget your power.
Know when to walk away and when to stay.
The past won’t haunt you if you don’t allow it to.
Become the woman you are set out to be.
Roads get rough, I understand. But you can’t find your way through life if you keep looking back.